Beautifully Broken
by moriartyswife
Summary: Being the last Maddox child to be born, and the only girl, put me at odds with my brothers from the start. Being the reason my mother couldn't undergo chemotherapy made me the enemy. Turning eighteen, I had made my choice to end my life, except Gavin made me promise six months. So I ran, and I never looked back.
1. Chapter 1: The Escape

2 years ago:

My eighteenth birthday is tomorrow.

Tomorrow.

Only one more night stuck in this awful house. Most of them had left. Well, everyone but Trenton. Off to college… off to work. Basically anything that got them out of the house and away from me. The unwanted Maddox child. The reminder. I shouldn't blame them… and I don't… not as much as I blame myself.

My phone buzzed. It was Gavin, the only person that stayed around through all my crazy and mood swings. I pushed all my other friends away. Gavin wouldn't have it. He still sat with me at lunch at school and talked to me every day. He'd texted me to ask why I skipped the last day of school.

 _Not feeling it. Pointless day anyways.- T._

 _Still, you're not okay, Tess. –G_

 _After tomorrow I will be. Tomorrow I'm leaving. Forever. –T._

I had it all planned out. It would be over tomorrow. Every last detail had been arranged. Every detail except Gavin. I hadn't expected him to catch on so quickly. Or to have a contingency plan. But he did. Full of surprises that boy.

 _Come with me. You don't want to do that. You just think it's your only way out. Come with me. –G._

When I didn't reply, he texted me again.

 _Give me six months. We'll leave tomorrow. I promise in six months; I can make you happy. –G._

I laid back on my bed and stared at the ceiling. Six months wasn't long. Now, I hesitated on my plans. He was right. I didn't really want to… not deep down. Gavin would be devastated.

 _They'll find me. –T._

 _Not this way. I have a plan. Let me try. Please?- G._

I chewed on my lip and sighed. _Six months- T._

 _I'll be over at seven. Make sure the house is empty and you're ready to leave. –G._

I tossed my phone aside and rolled off the bed onto my feet. I didn't own much. I'd gotten rid of a lot of my things and others had gotten broken during fights. They called it learning to defend myself. I never saw it that way.

Trudging down the stairs quietly, I went to the kitchen to get a drink before I started to pack. Maybe Gavin was right. Leaving here, it would hurt them more than if I ended my life. At least, I'd give it a chance. I promised and maybe I'll be happy. I hadn't been happy in a long time.

"Finally hungry?" Trenton asked from behind me.

I jumped and dropped the glass I had in my hand, causing it to shatter. "Shit! Dammit." I cursed quietly and bent down to pick it up. I'd gotten the big pieces and Trenton returned with the broom to sweep up the little ones.

"I didn't mean to scare you," he said.

"It's fine. I'm going to bed," I said quickly and started to leave. Of all the brothers, Trent and I used to be really close. He seemed to be the only one who acknowledged that I was depressed. The rest of them thought I was being a moody teenage girl.

Sleep escaped me again. I'd been having some insomnia since I started high school. Tonight, I took it as a blessing while I packed away my few things into two suitcases and four boxes. I hid them in my closet. Gavin told me to pack light. He'd been saving up for this.

The next afternoon, I pretended to leave but climbed back into my room through the open window. Surprisingly, all the brothers showed up, even Thomas. They all stayed down in the living room, playing poker. I had to bide my time carefully. That left me in a vulnerable position. I could hear them talking, while they thought I was gone.

The typical gossip about me didn't faze me as much anymore. Comments about me being wimpy and unable to fight back like they did. I closed my eyes. They never understood.

"Mom might still be alive," Taylor threw out. There it is. They blamed me for her death.

Tears spilled over as dad said it was the cancer that killed mom but didn't defend me. I knew as well as they did that because mom was pregnant with me, she couldn't undergo the chemo that could have prolonged her life or even saved her all together. Selfish me had to be conceived.

I typed out a message to Trenton's phone through blurry eyes at ten till seven and hit send. I heard him say, "Tess wants us to meet her at that burger joint downtown instead." They all left, grumbling about the change of plans. From my window, I watched them all get into their cars and leave for the last time.

 _At least I'll be gone._

Gavin's SUV pulled into driveway at exactly seven. I'd already carried the two suitcases and boxes down to the main floor, and then Gavin loaded them into the trunk. He hugged me tight once everything had been packed away. "Let's go, Tess. Before they come looking for you."

"Be right there," I said and went back up the stairs to my room.

It was pretty empty now. I'd ripped my posters off the wall and thrown them into the trashcan. My mirror that had been cracked the last week when I punched it was still sitting on the floor. No one had noticed the cut marks on my hand. I scribbled a note on a piece of paper and left it on my mattress.

No more.

I wouldn't be here for them shove around, trying to toughen me up. Or to blame for mom's death.

I scanned the note again.

Enough.

I'm sorry.

-Tessa

I'm sorry. That was always my response. Tessa, you're so weak. I'm sorry. Tessa, you're such a girl. I'm sorry. She's the reason mom is dead. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Those two words always muttered from my mouth.

In Gavin's car, I watched the house through the side mirror as we drove away. Trenton's car pulled up first and he jumped out, running inside. Next Thomas's car with dad and the twins, and finally, Travis's bike. Then it was all gone as Gavin turned onto the main highway.

He took my hand with his free one and didn't say anything. I stared out the window, the small town fading away into the distance soon after we were on the interstate. I had no idea where Gavin planned to go but it really didn't matter. Anywhere where would better than here. Six months… Gavin wanted six months to prove that life was worth living. I hoped he was right.


	2. Chapter 2: The Meeting

Present:

I unloaded the last of the crates of vodka that had been ordered last week. Dusting my palms on my pants, I let out a breath. Who knew opening up an entertainment bar would be this much work. Stretching my back, I looked around the finished room. We'd done a really good job of making this place lively again. It used to be a fake saloon. No one ever came so it went out of business.

During the day, the dark navy blue velvet drapes could be pulled up to show the light blue paint underneath. The metal tables could be used for either night or day. The bar doubled as a deli. We were a jack of all trades. Karaoke on Mondays and Tuesdays. Comedy night was Wednesday. Thursday was open for reservations. And Friday through Sunday was a regular dance bar. It was quite entertaining to hear drunk people sing though.

It's been two years since I ran away with Gavin. I couldn't be happier. We had a gorgeous two story house. It was small but it was ours. Staying hidden wasn't easy. Thomas told me he was an FBI agent the week after I'd run away and he'd shown up on my doorstep. Gavin talked to him, and so did my therapist. Thomas agreed to keep my whereabouts a secret.

From the back room, I could hear Gavin out front. He tried to keep his voice low. Anger laced his every word. "She doesn't want to see you."

"Gavin, if you don't tell me where she is, I'll rip your dick off," Trenton's voice replied. He sounded just the same. An angry Maddox was hard to miss.

"There a problem here, Gav?" Jude asked.

"Someone is going to tell me where the hell my little sister is," Trent said, very threateningly. He hit his fist the table and I jumped, feeling my chest tighten. Oh no. I hadn't one of these attacks in a long time.

"Oh. You're one of Tess's dickhead brothers. Get lost," Jude growled. The sound of barstools scraping the floor and falling over followed by a loud thud rang out, forcing me out of my hiding spot.

Camille was with him. She covered her mouth, probably more shocked that Jude had actually hit him than anything else. Jude barely stood taller than 5'7. Definitely not a match for Trenton. I heard him curse from the floor and then he stood up, cracking his neck.

"You're dead—"

"Trent, stop," I breathed out. Gavin held onto my arm, steadying me. I pointed to my bag. "Jude, can you get my pills?"

"Sure thing, babe," Jude said as Gavin guided me around the bar and to the nearest table.

Jude brought the bottle and a glass of water. Trent sank down into the chair next to me, like he was afraid to touch me. "What are you doing here? How did you find me?" I asked, trying to twist the lid off the bottle. My hands shook too much and I couldn't get it.

Seeing my frustration, Gavin put his hands around mine and helped me to pop the lid off. "Thanks, Gav." I smiled softly before popping the pill into my mouth and taking a drink of water.

"Are you sick?" Trent asked, turning paler by the second. Sick like mom is what he meant.

"They're anti-anxiety medication. That's all." I replied and fidgeted with my bracelet. Gavin had given it to me at the end of our first three months. It had three charms: a heart with red rubies, a brass key, and a silver R.

"Why would you need that?" He asked. The pure pain on his face told me that he already knew the answer to that question. He just wanted to hear me say it.

"She was bullied by the ones who were supposed to protect her. Not to mention Ethan." Gavin rolled his eyes.

"Gav, that's enough. Can you give us a minute? I'm alright, I promise." I smiled again. He and Camille went to the bar, out of earshot. I finally looked back up at Trenton. "You can't tell the others you know where I am."

"Tess… they think you're dead. Or worse. You have to come home," Trent said. He sat up and when I recoiled into my seat, he frowned. "You're afraid of us."

"I'm afraid of a lot of things. Fighting, thunderstorms, loud noises in general." I half smiled.

"We did that. That's why you left."

"I left for a lot of reasons, Trent. I was in a pretty dark place. I almost committed suicide on my eighteenth birthday."

"God, Tess…"

"But I didn't. Gavin talked me into running away instead. Six months and he said he'd make me happy again. Now, I'm probably happier than I've ever been in my whole life. I'm sorry that it hurts you. I love you, and all the others, but I had to leave.

I waited for him to get angry but he simply nodded his head. "I should be the one apologizing. I knew you were hurting and depressed, but I had no idea that it had to do with us. Shit…" He ran his hand through what little hair that he had.

"You just… you can't tell them," I said.

"I won't, if you'll let me come see you." Trenton's eyes lit up with hope, but I could see he was scared that I would say no.

I nodded. "Only if you call me first okay? I'll give you my new number."

As I typed in my number, the front door opened and in came Ezra and Molly with Reid running ahead of them as fast as his little almost two-year-old legs would carry him. He had dark black hair and shimmering blue eyes. "Mommy! I got a sucker!"

He latched onto my legs and smiled at me. Trent's mouth dropped open. "I didn't find out I was pregnant until two months after we left." I knew he would assume.

"You and Gavin?" His glare turned deadly.

"No! Someone… else." I regretted saying that. I watched the wheels turning in his head as he pieced it together. He stared at Reid for a few moments.

"You… had… Ethan _fucking_ Coats' baby?" Trenton asked through clenched teeth.

"Reid, why don't you go show Gavin your new toy in the backroom." I said and that sent him running off. The medicine had really calmed my nerves. "Yeah, I did."

"How? When did you let that sleaze ball touch you? How could you let him do that?" Trenton asked, completely lost.

I stared down at my lap. No one ever told my family. The people I did tell either said I asked for it or that I was lying all together. It wasn't a surprise that Ethan had covered up letting my family find out. Even the rumor probably would have gotten his ass beat. "I… Trent… Ethan raped me."


End file.
